Barney Syndrome

I love you
You love me
We’re a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too?

I love you
You love me
We’re best friends
Like friends should be
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too?

~*~

Brief Explanation

The Barney Syndrome a.k.a. the Deliriously Happy Freaks, is the occurrence of individuals who tend to be happy for no reason most of the times. The term was first coined early 2007 when it turned out that people who have been exposed to too much stress were at an increased risk of getting “Panda Eyes” and “Acute Sleep Withdrawal“. Though this disease isn’t widely known, it is said that the amount of people currently having this disease is increasing.

Causes

The Barney Syndrome is a relatively uncommon syndrome up till recently, researchers have found out that this syndrome have been evident in many places all over the world. It can result in many facial abnormalities and hallucinations.

Abnormalities are often caused or worsened by increased stressed or burdens as well as the unexpected bad news and shock. Disorders that causes the individual to overuse their brains and strength can cause the Barney Syndrome, including, assignments, theses and exams.

The Barney Syndrome is more commonly found in young adults or those who have reached their late teens, where the cause is often non-specific.

Symptoms

  • Dizziness or Light-headedness
  • Fatigue
  • Fake Fever
  • Flu
  • Cough
  • Facial Abnormalities
    • Pimples;
    • White Spots;
    • Blackheads;
    • Facial Hair Growth;
    • Sunken Eyes;
    • Dark Eye Bags.
  • Other Abnormalities
    • Frequent burst of laughter at every little thing;
    • Experiences the “Ecstacy” effect;
    • Hallucinations;
    • Random babbling of illiterate words;
    • Has no sense of what is real or fake;
    • The more tired you are, the more hyper you become;
    • The sprouting of overly colorful cuss words;
    • Sees life colorful with a twist of unreal such as in “Barney“;
    • Gets HIGH from overdose of assignments and exams;
    • Instant giggling fit as deadlines approaches;
    • Often goes off topic and starts a sing-along-song;
    • Often goes around with cue cards, formal clothing and shoes stuffed in their bags.

More would be listed soon as researchers have finished their research on this baffling syndrome.

Diagnosis

Constant monitoring of the Insanityalertiogram (IAG) may be necessary to detect the Barney Syndrome. The IAG may show any of the following :

  • Extra activity in the brain (overactivity);
  • Constant flickering of the eyes due to fatigue;
  • Constant giggling without reasons or anything said to the individual.

Treatment

There are only 2 treatments currently available to cure the “Barney Syndrome

  • More sleep (At least 8 hours nightly with occasional 30 minute naps during the day);
  • Start your assignments and studying at least 3 weeks early!! Or REGRET, damn you!!

Disclaimer :
This is merely a research done by a student (ME) on what people often suffer from. Most of these syndromes are commonly found near you or near your family. Other syndromes are found to have existed but are rarely seen these days. If you are found to have these syndromes, please, please, please! Call 1800-FREAKS-ALERT or email us at i_am_insane_save_me@wehelpfreakslikeyou.com to try and solve your diseases!! Or if you noticed your friends, family or anyone around you with these symptoms, please email us at surrounded_by_insanity_help_me@wehelpfreakslikethem.com!!

To find out more of our researched case studies, please refer to our list of “Case Studies“, thank you. Help us, help you!!

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1 Comment

  1. _butt said,

    March 18, 2007 at 2:07 am

    hahaha!! this really cracks me up!!! LOL!!

    Jessica:
    😛 it’s the truth ^o^ applies to…erm…a certain individual (ahem…me) and her assignment group X3


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