Broken Relationship

Wednesday, April 4, 2007
FUCKING SHIT

i’m too busy because of school to come online…i’m sorry for being a fucking bother to you.you won’t have to worry about me talking to you anymore i’m fucking done. sorry for acting like i stalker i guess fucking bullshit.

Posted by Rock at 7:34 PM

Regarding to this post of yours, “i’m too busy because of school to come online” I’m assuming that you were quoting me. As a matter of fact, I AM busy. I thought you understood my situation and accepted it. I’ve told you time and time before that I didn’t want to make you sad again after just a couple minutes of coming online and disappearing again for weeks, even months! I thought you understood this…you even said you did…

i’m sorry for being a fucking bother to you.” A bother…? Then I guess you just don’t understand me at all. You think I don’t get emotionally down when I don’t see you? I fucking do, ok! Satisfied? But you know what? Since we don’t get each other…it’s better we don’t try at all. It’s just hurting both of us.

you won’t have to worry about me talking to you anymore i’m fucking done.” Done? I thought you already decided that when you posted this a while back…

Saturday, March 3, 2007
History Repeats in Reverse

Some say the most important thing in a relationship is trust and i agree, honestly i trust you 100% and i can say that honestly because while you’ve been gone i wasn’t worried about who you were with but rather sad at the fact that you’ve been gone for so long. But you’ve always known that i’ve trusted you in the first place. The second most important i think is communication and lately we haven’t had alot of it. saturday has come and gone for you and i’m writting this at about 2:11 AM sunday. Anyways I’m just writting this i guess to let you know how i feel. It goes without saying that i’ve been missing you alot and that’s been causing me to be more depressed as the days pass. I read your blog alot to see how you’re doing but for some reason that’s not enough. I know that you’re busy with school and you have a life of your own to live and all, but if everything else is so time consuming that i can’t see you more than twice a week and on the slim chance that you do come on that you’re swamped with work or having a meeting with your class mates then where do i fit in on your list of things to do? I always try to look at things from both sides, so i can understand that you have alot of work to do and projects and what not to get done and that getting on would probably put you behind. Also with your free time you probably go hang out and do stuff i’m guessing. yeah i guess i understand somewhat. and with you being sick lately that doesn’t make it any better. You’ve always tried to be there for me in the past and i don’t think that’s changed but lately i’ve been feeling more and more alone, left missing you and i don’t want to feel like that anymore. Yeah it’s selfish i guess to want to talk to you sometimes(all the time for about a month) but you’re no where to be found for quite a while. Plus right now you probably have more important things to be thinking of besides me honestly. if you closed your eyes and thought about it right now i bet you could think of about 5 if not more right away. that’s why i thinks it would be better if we split up again for a while…i was gone for a bit last time but wanted to do nothing but sit and chill with you when i got back like normal, but things won’t go back to normal for quite a while. (if it ever does go back) And on the off chance that it goes back to the normal before this whole thing became regular than who’s to say it won’t go back to being like this again? As you said before you are all I need, with that being said if a human also needs let’s say oxygen, in order to live right? so in a sense if you wanna look it in a weird way you’re like oxygen to me in the sense that i need you to keep going. but what happens when a person has no oxygen? of course they suffocate or in my case i feel lonely, depressed, and not like i used to…So knowing that i’ll probably still be the same because i still i have the same feelings for you that i’ve always had but i feel that you should be able to spare a few hours sometime to talk to me as long as we share the bond of lovers. so by breaking that bond i’ll be able to think about you not being on as what it is…you just not being here. so what i’m trying to say is that by you being my lover i feel that you should be here more often and that’s what’s aggitating/aggrivating me to the point of depression, if i know that you’re not my girlfriend anymore i won’t have to feel those feelings anymore because you’re not linked to me in a way that gives me the right to feel anything about you not coming on. i’ll still miss you…but the way i miss you now is much worse than i’ve felt before. There is still sunday left in which i’m still hoping to see you…i already got y hopes up to see you today but we all know how that went…anyway i’m not angry at you but rather i’m just too sad to keep going, seeing you for one day tommorow won’t change how i feel i think…because it’s most likely that from monday till who knows when i won’t see you again…so i’d like to talk to you sunday if you still want to come on…i probably won’t post here anymore after this there would be no point…Come talk to me about it if you can.i’ll be ready whenever you see me online next.I love you and goodbye. after this i doubt you’ll just wanna split up for a while i understand if you never speak to me again for this sorry for being so selfish.

Posted by Rock at 10:05 AM

Didn’t think I’d have saved it did you? Well I did. Granted that it’s long, but it’s obviously a breakup letter to me. I’ve been staring at this article for days since you posted, talked to me and deleted it away up till now. And I got to say, it was really selfish of me to have made you decide otherwise cause I know the hurt you’ve gone through since that day is more now. We should have ended it then and there…

sorry for acting like i stalker i guess fucking bullshit.” Stalking? I hardly thought so. I had great times being with you. It was my most precious memories there with you. I know, I know. We haven’t even met!! But still, I did love you with my whole heart and I still do. I just don’t think with us behaving this way, it’s gonna ever work. Maybe if we were on the same continent, it would have been better but I ono…

Oh well, I got to start my studying now, my exam is on the 24th and it’s only 18 day away. Well, goodbye my love, I’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down a bit and see it from my perspective and then we’ll talk. Maybe after my exams which are on the 5th onwards in May. Love you…

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