So much to say, so little time…

Okay, okay, I know I got lots to blog about in here since yesterday but I’ve not the time to do so now so I’ll do it later after I announce what the coming changes are. But I’m gonna keep a tight lid on the whole affair. So be patient yea?

Anyways, wanna know about the Good Charlotte concert and all? Sure, I wanna know too if I didn’t go that day but I did and I can’t talk about it now. I’m busy with studying and some other stuff. So be patient yea. I promise that it’ll be SO worth it to know!!

Yes I’m serious. And due to my current inactive-ness, you’ll be seeing more short articles instead of long ones like I’m used to making. So for now, be PATIENT!!!

PATIENCE is a virtue you know!! Anyways, I really got to go now. I’ll be in serious trouble for my exams if I can’t concentrate for longer than 3 hours per day D; so I’ll just sign off now hoping that it rains so that I can’t distract myself from my studies by blogging D:

Damn my blog-addicted self ):

Sleepy Changes…

Something new is coming…I can taste it!! It’s so close that it’s causing me to feel damn tired…so tired…I feel my eyes just shutting all the time!! And I can’t let that happen…I have to go to my cousin’s new shop opening later at 11.30am.

What’s more, when I get back, I wanna go to the salon to get a haircut, go to Sinma to shop for some hair clips, choose the clothes I wanna wear to tonight’s outing to go see Good Charlotte, come back and blog about it and then study some more for my exams and THEN only I sleep…

And I’m estimating that to be around 2am in the morning tomorrow…not 11.15am today D: aiks T-T so sleepy D: what to do!!!

Anyways, the change is coming soon, just be sure to check it out for I’ll be announcing it pretty soon πŸ˜€

Good Charlotte Anyone?

So who is gonna go for the Good Charlotte thing? So far, I know 3 other people going, and they’re the ones who gave me the spare ticket they have πŸ˜€ other than them are my sister, her friend, and my brother and his friend. And altogether are 8 of us going but by different means of transportation la. but I got to say, my sis, her friend, my brother, and his friend. All four of them got VIP tickets D: so that means I can’t go as near to Good Charlotte as I want la…

But then again, it’s good enough cause it’s an experience mah πŸ˜€ so who are you who are going to go for this outing? Wanna hang out kah? Nooooo, I have absolutely NO ulterior motives for asking you to hang out with me, ABSOLUTELY non at all -nods, trying to convince self- it’s true!!! I SWEAR!!! -Breaks down- FINE la!!! I’m going with my brother and his friend wei, take pity on me la. I’m like the third wheel wokai? He going with a girl you know D: some more both of them younger than me a year. So which of you going alone? Need company? I am SO there!! Please? Lol!!

So want or not? I also wanna meet my other fellow bloggers mah. Never had a chance to meet anyone before. This is a good chance to do so. And you know what? You’ll get to meet me!!! -Crows squawking in the silence- WHAT!! I’m a nice person to meet, kay!!! It’s true D:

Yea, yea, I’m lame =.=” thanks a lot. But hey, I’m honest, right? RIGHT!! So wanna get together and watch together kah? Yes? No? Maybe yes? Maybe no? Definitely yes? Definitely no? Pretty please? Lol

Anyways, if you planning to go, comment here, email, sms me or something. I know, I know. I don’t have any contacts here but that’s cause you didn’t look deep enough worr…

Comment you can do it here. Email, you can email me at guardianangie@gmail.com or MSN me at guardianangie_14@hotmail.com. But ah, I will not release my phone number here la, don’t know if got some stalker come and get it then stalk me to flame them like I did here hahahaha!!

Anyways, on a side note, if we DO meet, don’t ask me anything about Good Charlotte, wokay? I’m not such a fan la. I just listen to music only, I don’t remember names wan…haiyah, I got short memory mah. So instead of memorizing names of singers, actors, actresses and so on that are SO not coming out for my exams, I prefer to remember Psychology terms, theories and such cause coming out in exams what!!

So what are you waiting for? Tell me if you’re going or not then maybe can go together kah or can hang out together and enjoy ourself la πŸ˜€

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We Shouldn’t, Wouldn’t, Couldn’t!

I shouldn’t.

I wouldn’t.

I couldn’t.

It’s too soon. We’ve only just begun. We’re not familiar to each other to go there yet. It’s an impulse we shouldn’t take. It’s too dangerous! I couldn’t, couldn’t couldn’t!

You shouldn’t.

You wouldn’t.

You couldn’t.

You mustn’t make me go to the next level. it’s too soon. It’s unthinkable. What would our parents say. What would we tell them! I wouldn’t, wouldn’t, wouldn’t!

We shouldn’t.

We wouldn’t.

We couldn’t.

You’re too cruel. Using emotional blackmail on me. Making me make this decision. It’s just not right. It’s all too soon for us! I shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t!

I shouldn’t.

You wouldn’t.

We wouldn’t.

It’s all a mistake. I shouldn’t have gone to you. You shouldn’t have taken advantage. And we shouldn’t be here now doing this. It’s too cruel. How can you make me do this! Why did I make you make me do this…

I’m guilty.

You’re guilty.

We’re both guilty.

Those days of fun and youthful disregard has finally lead to our downfall. We’re now forced to get together by both our parents. I see no other way out. I told you it was a bad idea to do it. And now we have to pay the price.

I’m sorry.

You’re sorry.

We’re sorry.

But now it’s too late. What is done is done. We are now stuck together till the deed is done. Nothing can be done to stop them for making us finish what we started. We’re sorry. But we’re guilty. So from now on, we shall do your bidding and let our baby go…

Bye bye baby, we love you with all our hearts. Mummy will always love you. But we’re sorry we can’t keep you. You’ll always be in our hearts. We love you!!

My Baby – Adopted

We’ll miss you!! T-T

His Kind Gift To Me

Recently, chatting with a friend of mine, while we talk about what’s been going on in our lives, what’s our plans for the coming days, about the past as to how it was fun when we were surrounded by friends and stuff when he suddenly sprung all kinds of questions on me…

And know what? He said that treating me to dinner was my birthday gift so I took advantage of that and ordered expensive ones. But then again, the best gift was talking, asking, and listening to me the whole night. I appreciate it. Thanks!! Below are the conversation we had.

About the Past

Him : “What about friends? New AND old ones.

Me : “Well, I have a few minions in University at the moment. We have fun πŸ˜€ and tend to stress out a lot together…especially at my house…The old gang? not so much, hardly even message them anymore. Only for greeting them happy birthdays and celebrations or when we wanna hang out.

Him : -stares at me a while and nods- “It’s sad isn’t it? Branching off and leaving old memories behind?

Me : -Looks back seriously- “Yea it is, but then again, memories of the past are never lost, just locked away in a secluded part of the heart. That’s what makes it so memorable, hmm?

Him : “If you’d have gone back to redo it again, would you have chosen your past or your present?

Me : -Ponders a while- “If I went back in time to follow my past, I wouldn’t be studying what I’m studying now, my dream, and wouldn’t have met new friends and wouldn’t be me anymore…If I did go back, I’d let it be the way it’s suppose to be and continue on.

Him : “Would you say your past is more important than your present?

Me : “I would say my present is important as well as my past because soon, my present will be my past and what is important now, will still be important after.

About Relationships

Him : “And hows your love life coming along, Jess?

Me : “It isn’t…it stopped about a week or so ago actually.

Him : -Stares at me- “Did it?

Me : “Damn your eyes, you knew it ended the day he wanted to leave me…

Him : “But you didn’t let him leave you. So what happened?

Me : “I don’t know. It’s one of those times when you know it’s suppose to be a wonderful relationship and then you find yourself at the other side of the ravine.

Him : “But that doesn’t mean you can’t find a bridge to closer the gap.

Me : “But I couldn’t. In fact, the space became wider and wider until I couldn’t see him anymore. It sucks…

Him : “What caused it to widen, Jess?

Me : “As if you don’t know! -pifs- Twas the assignments, the classes, the everything. I kept getting sicker and tired by the end of each day that I couldn’t even get on to see him.

Him : “So is that why you broke up?

Me : “No, actually, we didn’t break up. He left me. He found that I blocked him on MSN. Like OMG, it’s just a “a-while” blocking!! He’s so EMO!!” -Shakes in anger-

Him : “Calm down, Jess. Remember, I’m your friend, we confide in each other right?

Me : “Hahaha, you know you’re not JUST a friend, you’re my humblest, most oldest slave I have ^^

Him : “Haha, that’s true. But seriously, what do you plan to do now seeing as you’re single and on the market again.

Me : “you make me sound like a fish D: and I don’t think I’ll deny it when someone ask if I were single and neither will I announce it (other than on my blog that is, seeing as how I’m reporting this real life conversation) to the world that I am.

Him : “Are you feeling any regrets then? About him leaving. Do you still like him?

Me : “I never liked him. I loved him, actually. I won’t say that I am glad that the relationship is over. But I’m not sad about it either. In fact, it’s just a neutral feeling.

Him : “So wanna go out with me on a date sometime? πŸ˜›

Me : “Not a chance.

Him : “You mean I’m not good enough?

Me : “You’re awesome, but then again, I wouldn’t want to risk the wrath of your honey X3~

Him : “Hahaha, I wouldn’t want to lose her too πŸ˜€

About Studies

Him : “So how are your studies?

Me : “It’s fine.

Him : “Doesn’t sound so fine to me.

Me : “Well, aren’t YOU the psychic.

Him : “Nah, I’m just your slave. And being your slave means knowing everything about you.

Me : “Oh yeah?

Him : “Yes, master~

Me : “Good boy XP~

Him : “So back to studies.

Me : “Sheesh, you sound like one of my lecturers. Such a one track mind guy you are.” -Shakes head in disgust-

Him : “That’s me all over. So stop stalling and spill.

Me : “Yes, your slaveness~

Him : -Grins- “Oh stop stalling already!!

Me : -Pifs in frustration- “Oh fine!! It’s okay but for the fact that there’s intergroup conflict in my assignment team.

Him : -Leans forward like an eager child- “Ooo, conflicts, now that’s more like it. Tell me more.

Me : -Laughs and whacks him- “Well, since this semester started, it was also the beginning of our downfall.

Him : “Sounds like a story. Does it have a princess and happy endings?

Me : -Whacks again- “I thought you wanted to hear the story!! So hush up and listen!!

Him : -Wards off attacks- “okay, okay, my master.

Me : -Clears throat and sips at drinks- “No, there isn’t any princesses or happy endings. Just 4 irritated females and an irritating old man. Anyway. the old man, CW likes one of the girls, WL, and decided to confess to her. But due to the fact that WL finds nothing, absolutely nothing to admire about CW, she blatantly avoided him for days until she decicded to reject him.

After the rejection, the mood in the group changed drastically. The four girls have begun a discrimination campaign against CW due to his sudden moodiness. At first, all 4 girls didn’t want to embarrass him when WL rejected him. But it turns out that he wanted a fight. He fought every group decision which caused all the 3 other girls to lose their cool and find every reason to fight him.

So later, during assignments, the four girls gave CW as LITTLE tasks as possible so that there was minimal contact. However, CW even managed to fuck those up too. And during the last presentation of the semester, just because all 4 girls rejected his slides due to the fact that the tutor wanted a short presentation slides that were to the point whereas his were like…NOTES!! He has this irrational belief that we sabotage his presentation results and went behind all 4 girls back and complained to the tutor.

“Excuse me, Mr. I’m-a-pussy, you didn’t do any single thing in the LAST assignment.” And now he is complaining about one of us and you know how it is. You tell on some one and that person would have lower marks just cause you don’t like them. But the 4 girls didn’t do that. Oh no…he was the one. The person who contributed the LEAST!!! My fucking gawd…he should GROW UP!!

Him : “Wow…that was just…WOW!” -Claps-

Me : “Why thank you my humble slave.

Him : “I just don’t get why you all didn’t just kick him off the team or complain about him?

Me : “That’s because we have sympathy and empathy towards this guy. Come on, we’re not that evil to kick him off in the middle of the semester.

Him : “But he sounds like a downright bastard, to be honest.

Me : “Yes he does. In fact, he even managed to lose J’s pendrive and NOT apologive when he first told her it wasn’t with him until he, if I may say so, afraid, when he saw J.

Him : “Grrr, a spineless coward…

Me : “Yes, don’t we hate ’em cowards?

Him : “Yes, we do…

Me : “So that’s about it XD~

Him : “And what do you all plan to do about this.

Me : “Sheesh, you and your one-tracked mind D:

Him : “Why, thank you.

Me : -Laughs and scowl at the same time- “Why, we’re gonna kick him out of the group of course. Actually, we don’t think of him as the member of our team anymore. He’ll be the downfall of us, I swear! And besides I don’t think I can live with his attitude for another 2 years 😑

Him : “Good for all of you then. Kudos!

Me : “Thanks ^^

We had dinner and had fun. I really appreciate it. It just makes me more at ease to know you care enough to listen to me instead of spending quality time with your girlfriend. I’ll never forget hat you did. (Not that I can anyways since I blogged it all lol πŸ˜‰ )

An Eye For An Eye

Alamak…last night, all cause of THAT chocolate, it’s causing me such pain D: I’m in terrible pain now and all this thanks to…

::::::::::::::::::::

Yesterday, after doing some stuff over the computer, I went and watch some TV, Astro Channel 30 got Chinese Drama Series mah so must watch la. So anyways, I saw my sister eating chocolate and she didn’t bother to share so I mah ask her for some lo.

Reluctantly, she threw a few over to me and it was like I was bombarded by tiny bombs, painful D:!! So anyways, I ate the chocolates happily la seeing as how I’m a chocolate addict and it’s been a few days since I had any chocolates.

The thing is, after eating, my eye started to itch, so like any normal human being that is lazy enough to use the fingers/hand to rub at it, suddenly I cannot stop rubbing at it…the whole night I was just rubbing, rubbing and rubbing non-stop. It hurt so badly yet it’s itching like hell. It was driving me up the wall, I JUST had to get rid of the itch.

So after some hours of rubbing, my eye macam bengkak (swollen) already…my eye bigger than the other ( X _ x ) as if I was glaring at someone and to me it was like someone was forcing my swollen eye to close up!!! 😑

So frustrating la!!! And you know whose fault is it?! No la!! It’s not the chocolate’s fault, Chocolates are NEVER at fault!!! NEVEEERRR!!! It’s my SISTER‘s fault, I tell you!!!

::::::::::::::::::::

What did she do? She gave me the Eye Infection which turns out to be the Bacterial Eye Infection!!!!! This eye is damn irritated OKAY!!! All I do is “cry” all day long. Some more wake up that time, eye cannot open at all. And yes, I said EYE not EYES cause only one side got infected…damn it man…how to study like this? Some more what’s worse, all of a sudden I get a sneezing fit!! Last night and today =.-” cannot stop sneezing at all.

But you know what’s funny, my sister is once again the STARTER or all DISEASES!!! The last time was during Chinese New Year, gave me the cough then I of course, had to pass it on to everybody else in my class WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

But now, it’s my study leave, got no one else to pass it to, but my sister however, she has had human contact since yesterday and guess what? 3 of her other friends got infected too LOL. Not to mention that we’re her family, so guess what? Yes, not only did I contract it but my mom as well as my maid got it too!!! HAHAHAHAHA But then ah, my maid is cooking lol so I’m expecting more red eyes soon =.-”

Anyway, we just came back from the clinic and like, we went in, registered and waited for our turn. There were only 4 other people there to see the doctor where only 2 were the patients and the other two just came to flirt with the nurses =.-” So when the nurse called the first fella in, we were expecting a long wait, but what do you know…he came out in less than FIVE MINUTES!!! Like WTF?!? The next fella went in and it was the same with him O.o!!!!!

So then, it was our turn 0.o” so we went in, all three of us, my mom, sis and me.And the doctor, looked at us and started prescribing medication for all of us without even asking more than one question O.o!!!!! Damn smart woi!!! So then my mom asked if she could give more eye medication cause there’s like 7 of us at home.

Doctor : “How many of you are there?

Mom : “7 of us.

Doctor : “Well seeing as this both…” (meaning me and my sis) “…are the more serious one, I’ll prescribe 2 bottles for each of them. Then I’ll give you another 3 for the rest of you since it’s not serious for you all yet.

Mom : “My maid also got it from her…” (my sis) “…and it’s already serious, so can you give her one as well?

Doctor : “Ok, then I’ll give 3 to each of them and 3 more for the rest.

Mom : “Why 3? There are four of us left

Doctor : “Well, it’s not serious right?

Mom : “No. But isn’t it better to give all four of us also?

Doctor : “You see, if you open all the bottles, it will be of no use in a months time, so it’s better if the four of you share cause it’s not serious and you don’t need as much as the other three.

Mom : “But there’s four of us, and what if it becomes worse overnight?

Doctor and Mom haggles and haggles and in the end, the doctor won due to her professional expertise. But hey, can’t blame my mom for being the mother hen πŸ™‚ no wonder we love her ^^. During this whole visit, let me tell you, the doctor, she didn’t dare to look any of us in the eyes XD what a LAUGH!!!

So like that la, RM80 for the whole 10 minute visit and the medication which also includes PANADOLS, hey, my house got Panadol also okay, takyahlah give it to us and charge us some more!! ISH!! So blah, time for another round of medical eye drops…hopefully it gets better by Monday cause I have no more time to study T-T

See the pictures below!! That’s me with the “ZOMGWTFBBQ!!” infection…

Picture #1 : Look at that…my left eye is smaller compared to the right eye =.-”
Picture #2 : That’s a close up on the eyes, see the redness?

First time my eye is THAT red, kay!! Even when I cried over my beloved grandmother’s grave or when my daddy was admitted to the hospital or when my mom had a surgery or when I had a nervous breakdown and cried also not red. My eye was always grayish white…never red. And all this I have to thank my sister for =.-”

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Glossary

Eye Infections
Eye infections are characterized by discharge and usually crusting around the eyelid. This can sometimes cause the eyelid to be stuck shut in the morning. The eye is usually red and feels irritated like something is in it. Usually these symptoms come on quickly, within a day or two. It may spread from one eye to the next. The two most common causes of eye infections are bacteria and viruses.

Bacterial Eye Infections
Since this is caused by bacteria, antibiotics will kill the bacteria and make the infection get better. All of the antibiotic eye drops require a prescription and there are many different types of drops and ointments. Most of the drop require you to put one drop in the eye four times a day. The drops are comfortable and are well tolerated.

Ooooh Boy…

What’s up with the male species these days, hmm? Are their Y chromosome shrinking or are males having less testosterone lately?

::::::::::::::::::::Scene One::::::::::::::::::::

Female : How are you these days, Male #1?

Male #1 : Not bad, Female, in fact, after meeting you, I felt much cheerful and all I can say is, I love you.

Female : …You love me? But we don’t even know each other…

Male #1 : I know πŸ˜€ that’s the best part!! It’s as if you’re my soul mate!! My soul felt like it’s known you before πŸ˜€

Female : …

::::::::::::::::::::Scene Two::::::::::::::::::::

Female : Hi Male #2 πŸ˜€ you said you wanted to tell me something?

Male #2 : Yea, Female…you know how we been friends a while? Well…

Female : Yes?

Male #2 : Well, Female, I’ve always been in love with you…

Female : …Why are you telling me this now?

Male #2 : I can’t just bottle it up anymore D:

Female : …

::::::::::::::::::::Scene Three::::::::::::::::::::

Female : How’s life Male #3?

Male #3 : Not bad. You?

Female : Not bad too πŸ˜€ omg!! I so want to go to Perth and live my life there!!

Male #3 : Really? So do I! Wanna go there together?

Female : Sure, but where am I spose to get the money? Lol…oh well, i can still dream πŸ˜›

Male #3 : Am I in it?

Female : …

::::::::::::::::::::

As you all know, I just recently had a fight with my ex-boyfriend, Greg, ending up broken. Well, just recently, I started to feel up to it to face the world again and all of a sudden I receive this kind of mix signals all over…what is happening? Are their bodies/mind tuned into my “She’s single!!” brainwave? Ish!!

::::::::::::::::::::SMS with I::::::::::::::::::::

So anyways, lately, I have been receiving SMSes from a certain guy, I. He’s a Malay guy and he’s studying to be a pilot. Now he’s in the midst of his Industrial Training where he is placed at the helicopters, maintaining and such. So now, we have some not-so-frequent SMSes between us and this is how a part of it went :

I : Hey there…what’s up, hope everything is going pretty well.

Me : Everything is fine except for being busy πŸ˜› and how are you?

When he didn’t reply :

Me : Are you mad that I didn’t reply early? Was in a seminar. Couldn’t reply till last night. Sorry.

I : So sorry my dear, I should have told you earlier. My handphone is having problems sending smses. Darn annoying and the answer is no. I’m not mad at you. You’re such a darling. I’m the one whose at fault. Sorry.

And when he told me he was tired (he always said he was tired :O ) :

Me : Why are you always tired anyways?

I : Aircraft repairs related work. I had to move a helicopter from one hanger to another alone without any special tools lol.

Me : Eh? What happened to “goodwill among men”? Why no one helped?

I : Cause I’m superman…

Me : Lol. But batman is way cooler. He’s a normal human being who works alone most of the times.

I : But I seriously think he would rather be in my shoes if he had a choice. No, I’m positive. You sure you prefer batman? I could take you to the moon anytime.

Me : Well, only if I get to see the men oof the moon and find the cheese he hides there as well as the cow that went over the moon. Then I’ll choose superman any day πŸ˜€

I : Consider your wish fulfilled. Hang on to me princess, we’ll be there in no time.

Me : Well, I’ll keep you to that promise then.

And recently when I just sent an SMS saying “Hi” :

Me : Hiyas, you don’t have to reply. I just wanted to say “Hi” πŸ™‚

I : Oh but I insist. Betcha miss me huh…awww…miss you too…

What does all these mean? I have no idea…is he trying to say he likes me? Or is he just having a good nature bantering between the both of us? Or maybe he’s just playing me for a fool? Or maybe he’s gotten influenced by how the foreigners like to use endearments? -Sighs- It could be anything x.x

::::::::::::::::::::MSN with S::::::::::::::::::::

This just happened yesterday morning when I was waiting for Woan Ling to show up, which she was LATE FOR!! Anyways, he was asking me if I knew where to get something :

Me : Mm no.

S : By the way if its not too much trouble…SAY HI ONCE AND A WHILE!!!!!!!! it makes me feel special when people say hi. :3

Me : Been busy, didn’t say “Hi” to others.

S : So? I don’t care who you DIDN’T say hi to I don’t care who your with you can at least say hi to your friend -_- I’m not asking for a full conversation o_O just say hi i ask you how your doing you answer i follow it up and thats it. I mean. I know I’m not the most important person. But hey. I did “entertain” you for a month. Lil over a month.

Me : -sighs- I’m sorry, I haven’t been in the mood considering it’s been over between me and Greg for a couple of days now.

S : Well see. I don’t know that since you never tell me anything. I’m still your friend aren’t I? o_o

Me : Yea.

S : By the way I uh…I’ve changed a lot since we were together not that you could notice from this conversation I guess

Me : That’s good to hear, well, if it’s for the best that is. If it’s for the worst then I’m sorry to hear that.

S : Eh, well I’m not a pushover anymore, I’m not as invasive. If you start hanging around me again then well you could find out. By the way how is school? Mines doing good. My GPA is 4.1 ;o

Ok…how the hell does someone get GPA 4.2?!?!?! I thought the max was 4.0 o_O oh well, it’s a US citizen…maybe it’s different? O_o but anyways, let’s skip all that to the later part…:

S : It may be un-needed but just to let you know. I still love you.

Me : Well I hope it’s like 0.1% considering you have this Marie you love πŸ™‚

S : Oh no, it’s full strenght. However I am with someone else, and I don’t expect to get with you I just had to say that.

Me : Oh…

S : It’s just easier to ignore because I know you have no more feelings for me.

Me : I’m sorry again for the last time though, I didn’t mean to do that though.

S : It’s ok, it’s happened before. Just. Not that bad XD no worries. I’m good.

Me : Feelings doesn’t go away. It just becomes fond memories πŸ™‚ Anyways tell me about this Marie, is she nice? Well, I assume she is cause you like her lol

S : Yeah, she’s nice ^^ she actually says how she feels and so on, expresses what she thinks XD sometimes without thinking XD

Me : πŸ™‚ good. Grats for the both of you. Things are much better if you share stuffs like feelings.

S : I’m still here for you to talk to, Jess. Yeah, you never shared what you thought with me which is why what happened, happened XD. You know what hurt the most? When you posted up on your message that you’d been with Greg for 9 months or so. As if us didn’t happen. Like I didn’t matter. But that’s in the past I guess XD

Me : I said that but I also said “parted” too. Meaning that 9 months + the time we broke up. Meaning that although there was a gap in between, I only counted the time we knew each other.

S : XD yea yea anyway

Me : Besides that’s another scrapbook to keep away now.

S : Stop using analogies ._. you’re confusing me. Lol XD

Me : Well, I’m being more matured and erm old and erm spinster-like considering I’ve just turned 20 lol.

And then we started talking about my birthday and such but let’s skip all that πŸ˜›

S : Ok well old person, what happened between you and pebbles? πŸ˜›

Me : He found out that I blocked him…for ONE day cause I didn’t want him to get his hopes up when he sees me for 10 minutes and I go off for the next couple of weeks again…

S : Oh so you’re just going to get back together again lol

Me : No…I don’t think so…

S : Heh

Me : Cause according to me busy University schedule. It’s better to not be together cause he’ll just go emotional for not seeing me a long time…again. I don’t want that though and I probably won’t live past 2 years. So it’s WAY better πŸ™‚

S : STFU about the dying crap πŸ˜› or I’ll beat you ;3 got it missy!?!

Me : Well then, that means you haven’t been reading my latest post which I password protected it after being public for 4 hours at most πŸ™‚ oh well.

S : I’m sorry, I don’t “stalk” you anymore

Me : Funny…greg said “stalked” too…

S : Well you did say that I stalk you before. Which is why I said that. Mainly because you fail to understand that i was using something i did not know how to use in order to call you.

Me : I get it already…and luckily…I’m not prone to be emotional cause I really feel like crying now

S : Though I will admit I was a bit wacky -_- crying for what? Pebbles? -_-

Me : Maybe, maybe not

S : There is no sense beating around the bush, Jess

Me : But my job is to beat around the bush till the client spills all

S : Yeah, but guess what Jessica…I’m not one of your client

Me : Maybe I’m doing it to myself, hmm?

S : Don’t be all analytical. Make things simple for once why don’t you? You always complicate things more than they should

Me : Lecturers have been saying things to us, I can’t help it. They told us, when we feel down, take a day off then come back being normal again after. Maybe that’s why I wanted this profession, it has me written all over πŸ˜›

S : A crazy person can’t be helped if the helper is crazy themselves πŸ˜›

Me : That’s why I am not crazy? I am rational at all time, kthx

S : Rational my ass XD

Me : I’m eccentric-ly rational πŸ˜›

S : Lol I love you XD

Me : Oh psh

S : you brat πŸ˜›

Me : I’m no brat, I’m an old bat

S : Ye ol’ bratty bat

Me : I can’t wait to migrate to Australia and adopt kids and just live a solitary life with em

S : Pshaw, I’ll be bugging your happy ass

Me : D:

S : Why do you think I’m trying so hard? In school.

Me : o_o why? For your future of course

S : Well, yea. But there’s more to it than that

Me : Erm…to be all-knowing?

S : Eh no c’mon don’t act stupid

Me : You know I’m damn stupid =.=”

S : Don’t start that shit XD C’mon Jess, gimme an honest guess

Me : Ever wonder why I went into psychology? To use confusing words to confuse my clients into talking. I don’thave to guess.

S : The tell me the answer

Me : I meant I don’t have to guess the client. The client tells all

S : I’m not your freakin’ client, I’m your fucking friend

Me : Thus why I don’t get what you’re saying -sighs-

S : Thus my ass XD

Me : …

S : C’mon Jess, I know you’re not that stupid

Me : I’m like an ostrich with her head in the ground, S…

S : I noticed, and I’m gonna yank it if you don’t pull it out…that didn’t sound right…but you get the idea πŸ˜›

Me : Erm…you’re studying damn hard to…come to Australia to bug me?

S : Well yea. I want to go to school with you…I want to be near you in general. I have enough money to go to Malaysia and back 4 times and a GPA that could get a scholarship bu just saying Hi…this is all thanks to my beloved AP courses XD and I love history…

Me : I hope you meant that in a double way that Marie is in Malaysia too o_o

S : o_o; I guess I’m bragging but I don’t mean to look like I’m bragging or look self centered x.x no she lives in Canada, in Toronto. I don’t know what I’m gonna do XD but I’ll figure it out I guess o.o maybe meeting me would uhm cause you to like me again…but I don’t know

Me : Ok…I have no idea what to say except that you should be holding onto Marie. cause to tell you the truth, I’m planning to just keep single now

S : Who said anything about it happening now

Me : Life would be WAY better if I’m a old spinster πŸ˜€ old meaning that I die as one XD

S : Ye won’t πŸ˜› I won’t letcha XP

Me : Why are you doing this to me knowing that I just got out of another relationship…painfully -sighs-

S : Jess, I’m not asking you to be with me now, I’m asking you to talk to me, that’s it.

Then we started going into other topics cause he knows he’s stressing me out I guess? And that was about it…Ok, to give you a brief idea. When I broke up with Greg, after a few months, I started dating S. But then Greg wanted to get back with me again and I just don’t feel that S and I really clicked so I told Greg, yes. So when S found out, we had a huge fight over it and then he tried to emotionally blackmail me back my saying he wanted to die, he’s dying and such but no, I didn’t retun and stuck to Greg…till now that is……

::::::::::::::::::::MSN with D::::::::::::::::::::

Ok well, this is going to be hard cause I can’t seem to get the earlier history for our conversation. Basically he was saying that he has had a bad relationship where the girl he used to date was dating him a week and the next thing he knew she left him and got impregnated by another guy. Like omg!! I’m feeling sorry for D, really!! So I said not to worry because there are better girls than her in the world and that he shouldn’t be so caught up in that. And he said yea, he already found her…and that’s me o_o so I decided to tell him stuffs about me

Beginning : (Can’t remember how it went but basically like this)

Me : I’mma make a server but I need to keep money for a dedicated host πŸ˜€

D : Hmm, if you married me, you won’t have to worry about those lol

Me : Why’s that?

D : Well you obviously don’t know what a future tech (something can’t remember what) earns.

Me : How much?

D : About $500 per hour (hour/day, not sure D: )

Me : Lol not that desperate to marry into money XD

Later : (I have the history records for these at least πŸ˜€ )

Me : You know what?

D : ?

Me : The other day on my birthday, my friends told me that I am of bad girlfriend quality.

D : Why?

Me : Well, they said I am a expensive girl with expensive taste XD Did I mention I get bored easily? Another reason why you shouldn’t like me πŸ˜›

D : One thing you should know about me. I’m a very thicj brick wall and the only thing that’s gonna break me is a missile.

Me : And what kinda missile is that?

D : The missile my ex holds

Me : D: you know I won’t do that…too traditional for my own good…

Well…that’s all I remember but there was more to it that disappeared from my MSN history list…cause I remember asking him how come he likes me even if he haven’t seen me before and he said that I haven’t seen him as well yet I’m still friends with him and well you get what I mean. He even told me he wanted to live in Perth with me cause I told him before that I wanted to move there…when I said, it might not come true about me living there cause I haven’t the money and he asked if he was in that dream of mine as well…

-Sighs- is it too late for me to go in Lesbianisme? Cause I think I should either convert into a Lesbian or lock myself up in a monastery and I heard I get to live longer as a nun πŸ˜€

Also, a friend of mine is ALSO having this problem…granted that she’s pretty good looking, intelligent and as fair a snow white!! They can both shout into the mirror and ask “Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all?!?!” and the mirror will think for YEARS and still not get an answer XD

The whole point of this article is…are men the ones now looking for love and companionships rather than the females nowadays? Are the roles of men and women starting to switch between each other? I mean, personally, I think wanting to be together all the time with the same person is boring…I need my own space and other people too…not just one πŸ˜›

So what are your opinions on this, hmm? Oh wow…such a long article XD

and now I shall end it with a quote :

Relationships are like buses. You miss the first bus, never mind, catch the next bus. And if you miss the next bus as well, no worries, there are more where that came from πŸ˜€

by Mr Sivan, Counseling Skills Lecturer of UTAR

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Pure Unadulterated Hate…

As I sit here writing this article, my body is shaking in frustration, there is an itch inside of my body that I yearn to scratch…it’s truly unbearable…my head aches in pain, the voice inside screams to be freed, the voice screams and screams and screams…

WHY IS THE WORLD SO FUCKING UNFAIR!!! WHY AM I THE ONE TO RECEIVE THIS “GIFT”?!?!?! WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN ALL THE OTHER FUCKED-UPS OUT THERE WHO HAVE SINNED AND SINNED OVER AND OVER AGAIN?!?! WHY ME?!?!?!

Can life be anymore unfair? Why is the Lord taking my life into his hands? Why can’t he leave it up to me when I wanted to die? Why must he take the strings of time and shorten it? WHY?!?! Have I sinned, my Lord? Have I done something in my past life to have deserved such a punishment? Or do you have a personal grudge on me that needs to be scratched?

WHY ARE YOU CONDEMNING ME INTO THIS FATE WHERE I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE KNIFE AND MEETING YOU, MY MAKER!! WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE MINDED YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LEFT MY LIFE UP TO ME!!! WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE CLOSED AN EYE AND WALK AWAY?!?! WHY ARE YOU PULLING ME AWAY FROM MY LOVED ONES AND THE WORLD?! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO COLD AND CRUEL?!?!

They say that I’m not suppose to hate you, Lord. They said that it’s me whose at fault, I who didn’t want it to begin with, I who had no inkling of what is happening to me, I who am afraid of burdening my family, I who am not Your devotee…but why did You have to condemn me for being all those? Do You not have enough devotees to kill off to be Your minions? Why me? Am I not good enough to live for at least another 70 years on this earth You had created?

::::::::::::::::::::

“It’s very treatable. All you have to do is go for the surgery and get rid of it”

“How much would the surgery cost me, doctor?”

“…it’ll be a lot, that is for sure, but the most important thing to do here is get you to do the surgery and be treated for chemotherapy…”

“I’ll have to think about it, doctor…”

::::::::::::::::::::

Did You like to see my saddened face? My downfall in life as I blindly walk through life? My emotionless eyes look around me, I see everything yet I see nothing, nor could I hear nor speak…tears are coming to me as I thought back on my short lived years…20 years, Lord. That was all You wanted to give me, wasn’t it? Was this planned from the beginning? Since the day I was born, perhaps? If You had wanted me so much, why didn’t You just take me at birth? Why now? Now when MORE people will get hurt and mourn for my leaving?

You are truly cruel, Lord. Yet people see You as THEIR savior, THEIR Lord beyond the pearly gates of heaven…yet you tear love ones apart and leave them all in desolation…

But guess what, Lord. I shall not give in to this fate that You had created for me. I shall live my last days happy, my family shall know nothing of it and be clueless of the cruel crime You have committed till the very end, cutting short their pain and leaving all the burden of mourning to me until I give out my very last breath…

But needless to say, You have my pure unadulterated hate for the rest of my pitiful life, now and forever, I shall not forgive you and will never when I see the ashen-ed faces upon my loved ones when my time grows near. Till then, I shall let them believe nothing is wrong and everything is right in the world, Amen.

Broken Relationship

Wednesday, April 4, 2007
FUCKING SHIT

i’m too busy because of school to come online…i’m sorry for being a fucking bother to you.you won’t have to worry about me talking to you anymore i’m fucking done. sorry for acting like i stalker i guess fucking bullshit.

Posted by Rock at 7:34 PM

Regarding to this post of yours, “i’m too busy because of school to come online” I’m assuming that you were quoting me. As a matter of fact, I AM busy. I thought you understood my situation and accepted it. I’ve told you time and time before that I didn’t want to make you sad again after just a couple minutes of coming online and disappearing again for weeks, even months! I thought you understood this…you even said you did…

i’m sorry for being a fucking bother to you.” A bother…? Then I guess you just don’t understand me at all. You think I don’t get emotionally down when I don’t see you? I fucking do, ok! Satisfied? But you know what? Since we don’t get each other…it’s better we don’t try at all. It’s just hurting both of us.

you won’t have to worry about me talking to you anymore i’m fucking done.” Done? I thought you already decided that when you posted this a while back…

Saturday, March 3, 2007
History Repeats in Reverse

Some say the most important thing in a relationship is trust and i agree, honestly i trust you 100% and i can say that honestly because while you’ve been gone i wasn’t worried about who you were with but rather sad at the fact that you’ve been gone for so long. But you’ve always known that i’ve trusted you in the first place. The second most important i think is communication and lately we haven’t had alot of it. saturday has come and gone for you and i’m writting this at about 2:11 AM sunday. Anyways I’m just writting this i guess to let you know how i feel. It goes without saying that i’ve been missing you alot and that’s been causing me to be more depressed as the days pass. I read your blog alot to see how you’re doing but for some reason that’s not enough. I know that you’re busy with school and you have a life of your own to live and all, but if everything else is so time consuming that i can’t see you more than twice a week and on the slim chance that you do come on that you’re swamped with work or having a meeting with your class mates then where do i fit in on your list of things to do? I always try to look at things from both sides, so i can understand that you have alot of work to do and projects and what not to get done and that getting on would probably put you behind. Also with your free time you probably go hang out and do stuff i’m guessing. yeah i guess i understand somewhat. and with you being sick lately that doesn’t make it any better. You’ve always tried to be there for me in the past and i don’t think that’s changed but lately i’ve been feeling more and more alone, left missing you and i don’t want to feel like that anymore. Yeah it’s selfish i guess to want to talk to you sometimes(all the time for about a month) but you’re no where to be found for quite a while. Plus right now you probably have more important things to be thinking of besides me honestly. if you closed your eyes and thought about it right now i bet you could think of about 5 if not more right away. that’s why i thinks it would be better if we split up again for a while…i was gone for a bit last time but wanted to do nothing but sit and chill with you when i got back like normal, but things won’t go back to normal for quite a while. (if it ever does go back) And on the off chance that it goes back to the normal before this whole thing became regular than who’s to say it won’t go back to being like this again? As you said before you are all I need, with that being said if a human also needs let’s say oxygen, in order to live right? so in a sense if you wanna look it in a weird way you’re like oxygen to me in the sense that i need you to keep going. but what happens when a person has no oxygen? of course they suffocate or in my case i feel lonely, depressed, and not like i used to…So knowing that i’ll probably still be the same because i still i have the same feelings for you that i’ve always had but i feel that you should be able to spare a few hours sometime to talk to me as long as we share the bond of lovers. so by breaking that bond i’ll be able to think about you not being on as what it is…you just not being here. so what i’m trying to say is that by you being my lover i feel that you should be here more often and that’s what’s aggitating/aggrivating me to the point of depression, if i know that you’re not my girlfriend anymore i won’t have to feel those feelings anymore because you’re not linked to me in a way that gives me the right to feel anything about you not coming on. i’ll still miss you…but the way i miss you now is much worse than i’ve felt before. There is still sunday left in which i’m still hoping to see you…i already got y hopes up to see you today but we all know how that went…anyway i’m not angry at you but rather i’m just too sad to keep going, seeing you for one day tommorow won’t change how i feel i think…because it’s most likely that from monday till who knows when i won’t see you again…so i’d like to talk to you sunday if you still want to come on…i probably won’t post here anymore after this there would be no point…Come talk to me about it if you can.i’ll be ready whenever you see me online next.I love you and goodbye. after this i doubt you’ll just wanna split up for a while i understand if you never speak to me again for this sorry for being so selfish.

Posted by Rock at 10:05 AM

Didn’t think I’d have saved it did you? Well I did. Granted that it’s long, but it’s obviously a breakup letter to me. I’ve been staring at this article for days since you posted, talked to me and deleted it away up till now. And I got to say, it was really selfish of me to have made you decide otherwise cause I know the hurt you’ve gone through since that day is more now. We should have ended it then and there…

sorry for acting like i stalker i guess fucking bullshit.” Stalking? I hardly thought so. I had great times being with you. It was my most precious memories there with you. I know, I know. We haven’t even met!! But still, I did love you with my whole heart and I still do. I just don’t think with us behaving this way, it’s gonna ever work. Maybe if we were on the same continent, it would have been better but I ono…

Oh well, I got to start my studying now, my exam is on the 24th and it’s only 18 day away. Well, goodbye my love, I’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down a bit and see it from my perspective and then we’ll talk. Maybe after my exams which are on the 5th onwards in May. Love you…

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Bloggers VS. Government

Information and articles plucked from :
The Star Online
Marina Mahathir’s Blog
Elizabeth Wong’s Blog

Bloggers may have to register

AT THE DEWAN RAKYAT

Bloggers using locally hosted websites may be asked to register with the authorities, Deputy Energy, Water and Communications Minister Datuk Shaziman Abu Mansor said.

He said registration was one of the measures the Government was considering to prevent the spread of negative or malicious content on the Internet.

Shaziman said this while winding up the debate on the motion of thanks on the Royal Address for his ministry.

He added that the ministry did not have any problem with bloggers who identified themselves, and he welcomed blogging activities.

However, he said there were about 50,000 websites registered under the .my suffix and there were a lot of avenues for anyone to host websites with malicious content which could harm the country’s security.

Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang, who interjected when Shaziman was speaking, said the negative comments of several ministers about bloggers reflected their lack of understanding about information flow in cyberspace.

“They should be educated on the vast benefits of blogging, which will help them to interact more with the people. Many politicians overseas already have their own blogs,” he added.

Asked to comment on the matter, Johor Baru MP Datuk Shahrir Abdul Samad said bloggers were very aware of their own ethics and responsibility for content on their sites.

While agreeing that there were bloggers who had inflammatory content, he said unidentified bloggers could still be traced through their website addresses.

He added that the problem was also about inflammatory comments by unidentified visitors to the blogs.

Ahirudin Attan of Rocky’s Bru said the move to compel local bloggers to register was effectively the Government trying to control what Malaysians were writing online.

“This violates the Government’s no-censorship policy with regards to the Internet,” he said.

He added that the move would just create fear among the bloggers and would encourage them to host their blogs overseas.

Marina Mahathir, a blogger and activist, said the Government really should “get real.”

She said the move “is just going to make Malaysia look ridiculous in the eyes of the world.”

Blogger Jeff Ooi wondered why the Government was pursuing this course of action.

He said the Government had already set up the Content Forum to deliberate on complaints by any party.

Ok, this is just NONSENSE!! Even if you’re the government, doing such a thing is just incomprehensible!! Seriously, who do you think you are referring to when you are telling them to “register or face the consequences“?

Malaysian Minister for Tourism, Tengku Adnan was reported by Sin Chew to have said the following :

Bloggers are liars. They use all sort of ways to cheat others. From what I know, out of 10,000 unemployed bloggers, 8,000 are women.

β€œBloggers like to spread rumours, they don’t like national unity. Today our country has achievements because we are tolerant and compromising. Otherwise we will have civil war.

β€œMalays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays, Indians will kill everybody else.”

He asked people not to believe bloggers and gamble away Malaysia’s future because 50 years of Merdeka (Independence) takes a lot to achieve it.

β€œWe have to show to the people our positive attitude. If the world learns from us, there will peace and no civil war.”

I’m assuming when you started this whole issue, you were referring to them? -quirks an eyebrow- let me say that THESE bunch of people, employed OR unemployed are still human beings, they eat what you eat, read what you read and even pay their taxes which help pays for almost everything. But what you have failed to see that THESE people are also voters OR future voters. THESE people control your (government) fate.

So am I to assume that in the coming days/months/years that I would have my freedom of speech stripped and my rights taken away due to the fact that I’m a blogger and that whatever I have to say online will have to pass through inspection just cause you’re afraid that THE PEOPLE are telling as it is?!?! Ok…that’s just bullcrap…

But according to this article :

Thursday, August 03, 2006
No censorship of Internet, says Lim

But Bloggers can be charged

By Hamidah Atan
New Straits Times

There will be no censorship of the Internet but bloggers are not above the law for what they publish in cyberspace.

Energy, Water and Communications Minister Datuk Seri Dr Lim Keng Yaik said action would be taken against those who disrupt peace and harmony through their postings.

He said there was no censorship of the Internet as promised in the Bill of Guarantee with the Multimedia Super Corridor “but if any bloggers go against the law of the country, they can be charged, whether under criminal law, sedition or whatever law it is”.

He said it would be difficult for the Government to take action against foreign bloggers but it would not be a problem against local bloggers.

“We will also take action against those who spread rumours or malicious materials via the SMS.
(Tho I think they have shied away from doing this when it comes to prominent religious persons…)
“Once registration for mobile pre-paid numbers is completed, we will start monitoring.

“You have to keep to the law of the country.

“Local bloggers must control the contents of their blogs and be responsible. If the contents are seditious, they will have to face the music.”

He said the law applied to all bloggers irrespective of their standing in society.

On Tuesday, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said such activities could affect peace and harmony in the country.

They could also make the people, including investors, lose faith in the economy and development programmes.

Abdullah said the Government could not allow the Internet or Short Messaging Service to become a platform for people to spread rumours or threaten others.

He said the type of liberty found in the blogs and websites had exceeded the freedom given to the Malaysian media.
(well, duh…)
He was responding to Information Minister Datuk Zainuddin Maidin’s call for control over the Internet.

Dr Lim said he explained to the Cabinet on the types of action that could be taken against local bloggers.

“The explanation was detailed and the PM left it to me to handle the matter with other ministries.”

It’s stating that “You can have all the freedom you want on the internet, we’ll not censor what you have to say.” but wait, wait!! There’s a catch “BUT if you’re a blogger, and cause ALL of you are liars, you don’t get no such thing as freedom of speech on the net, take that!!

Almost every blogger in the world Malaysia wants their names, personal information to stay anonymous. Also, isn’t that the whole point when people created such things as blogs? To stay anonymous? For many, they just enjoy blogging as a hobby, obsession, pastime, and to just rant cause they have no one to go to. You can thank these blogging services for the reduced amount of psychotically ill individuals in the world even if it DOES decrease the number of patients I will have in the future…. So by registering, you have defeated the purpose of these individuals who blogs just cause they don’t want to be known. Not just that, you’ll be held responsible for the declining in our (Malaysia’s) revenue after you implement this due to the fact that all bloggers and hosters would rid themselves of the “.com.my” and opt for domain names with only a “.com” and such. Are you saying that you are all ready to take up this responsibility when it comes up and hit you in the face? Also, the fact that you are implementing this, aren’t you at all worried that the bloggers will find themselves having a better reason to fly overseas to get back their freedom of words on the net?

Does the fact that almost all of the Malaysian population who are both voters and tax payers appears to be bloggers, alarm you? Perhaps this is why you are doing this. Are you afraid that your voters will abandon you after reading the “lies” from bloggers who you thought “lied” and what they thought, the “truth”?

Another question. Why aren’t all of you focusing on MORE serious problems (corruption, people who are getting attacked/raped/murdered and etc) rather than getting yourself in petty issues like these? It’s like telling the public that you’re not taking what matters most into your priorities and that you just have too much time on your hands to start such an issue.

This issue has help cause an uproar in the blogging community in Malaysia, and soon, people from other countries will get involved and this will only help the world look down upon us as the ever closed-minded country we truly are…oh wait…that’s the government’s fault…but hey, not all people working for the government are bad. In fact, those who are, are those who hold the power and of course, we mustn’t forget the subordinates πŸ˜€ in fact, why don’t we all stand up and give all of you a round of applause ^^

-Gives a HUGE round of applause- “Thank you for making Malaysia and Malaysians seem closed-minded” πŸ˜€ I mean it, I seriously do ^^ good night πŸ™‚ at least we don’t have a George Bush running things around here I guess :s

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